You’re sitting at the kitchen table with your fourth grader, staring at a worksheet that asks them to solve 36 × 7 using an “area model.” You know the answer is 252. You could solve this problem in your head or quickly stack the numbers and multiply the way you learned decades ago. But your child’s teacher wants it done a different way – a way that looks nothing like the math you remember – and suddenly you’re both frustrated, confused, and wondering why something so straightforward has become so complicated.
If this scene sounds familiar, you’re not alone. This is one of the most common concerns I hear from parents, and the frustration is completely understandable. You want to help your child succeed, but it feels like you need to learn an entirely new language just to get through a Tuesday night homework assignment.
Why Math Looks Different Now
Before we talk solutions, it helps to understand why your child’s math class doesn’t look like the one you sat in. The short answer is that research on how children develop number sense has evolved significantly. The methods you learned – stacking numbers, borrowing, carrying – are efficient procedures, but they don’t always help kids understand why they work. Many of us memorized steps without truly grasping the underlying concepts, which is why math felt like a mysterious set of rules rather than something logical.
Today’s approaches, like area models and partial products, are designed to build conceptual understanding first. When your child breaks 36 into 30 and 6 before multiplying, they’re developing a mental framework that will serve them when problems become more complex. The goal is fluency that comes from understanding, not just memorization.
That said, knowing the reasoning doesn’t make homework time any less stressful when you’re unfamiliar with the methods. Here’s how to navigate it.
Strategies That Actually Help
The most important shift is moving from “let me show you how to do this” to “let me help you figure this out.” Instead of teaching your child your method – which may conflict with classroom instruction and create more confusion – try asking questions that guide them back to what they’ve already learned. Questions like “What did your teacher show you today?” or “Can you walk me through what you tried so far?” put them in the role of explainer, which reinforces their learning and shows you their thinking process.
When your child gets stuck, resist the urge to jump in with the answer or your preferred shortcut. Sit with the discomfort for a moment and ask them what part is confusing. Sometimes they just need to talk through it. Other times, you’ll identify a specific concept that isn’t clicking – and that’s valuable information, whether you’re able to address it yourself or need to flag it for their teacher.
If the method on the worksheet is completely foreign to you, a quick online search can help. Typing “area model multiplication explained” into YouTube will surface dozens of short tutorials designed for parents in exactly your situation. Watching a three-minute video together can demystify the approach and turn homework time into a collaborative learning experience rather than a battle.
Finally, it’s okay to let your child struggle a little. Productive struggle – working through something challenging without immediately being rescued – is how real learning happens. Your job isn’t to ensure every answer is correct before the worksheet goes back to school. It’s to support your child’s effort and help them develop persistence.
When Homework Battles Become the Norm
Some frustration during homework is normal. But if every math assignment ends in tears, avoidance, or conflict, that’s a sign something deeper may be going on. Your child might have gaps in foundational skills that make current grade-level work feel impossible. They may have developed anxiety around math that shuts down their thinking before they even start. Or the classroom pace may simply be moving faster than they can absorb.
These situations don’t resolve on their own, and no amount of kitchen-table persistence will fix a missing foundation. A tutor who understands both the current teaching methods and your child’s individual needs can bridge those gaps, rebuild confidence, and give your child strategies that actually stick.
If homework time has become a nightly source of stress in your house, I’d love to help. Reach out to schedule a conversation about what your child is experiencing – and let’s make math something they can approach with confidence instead of dread.